Coffee dates and October 15th

We finally got to go out and enjoy a little coffee date outing as a family. Jason has taken Evie on his own, and so have I, but we have never gone as a family of 3 to a coffee shop and just relaxed for a bit. Sure it may have been a little chaotic as Evie just wanted to run around for the first while, but that was okay. We have a great little place near us, they have high chairs and a bin of toys for kids who come in.

We ordered a scone to split between us, they are made in store each morning. Jason got a caramel macchiato, and I enjoyed a caramel steamed milk that I could share with Evie. I’m hoping we do this a little more often have a quiet start to the weekend by maybe going for a walk and to the coffee shop. *hint*hint* honey.

There is something else on my heart and mind though today…

Today is also October 15th. The government of BC has proclaimed this to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. While it hasn’t been recognized on a federal level, it is also recognized in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and the Northwest Territories. I hope soon that this is recognized all across Canada. The United States has recognized this day since 2006. It’s a movement that started in the States in 1988 when President Ronald Reagan declared October to be Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I wonder if it was something near to his heart?

It’s a day I wish that no one had to recognize, this whole month for that matter. I wish it didn’t exist. That being said I am thankful that people are stopping the silence and becoming more open about what they are going through. It’s important for there to be awareness about miscarriage, stillbirth, and the death of infants during delivery or shortly after birth. Yes it is a hard thing to talk about, death is hard to discuss. The death of a baby at any stage is devastating and breaks your heart into a million pieces that you never imagine will go back together again. It affects everyone involved – mother, father, grandparents, siblings, and more. Many face the devastation when pregnancy or infant loss happens. Know that you are not alone.

Being open and honest about the two miscarriages we have gone through has made a huge impact on our getting through them, and facing the grieving process day by day. Not hiding it, so many have opened up and shared their stories. It’s something we connect about and can grieve together about.

Today it’s asked for people to light a candle at 7pm, in remembrance of the little one they have lost, or in support of those you may know who have faces such heartbreak. With all the different time zones it’s supposed to be like a wave of light around the world. I encourage you to reach out to others if you have gone through this, or send a little note of love to those you know who have. Each little bit has a huge impact on others. There will be many remembering their babies this evening.

In our area Science World and BC Place are going to be lit up in pink and blue in honour of this day. I am considering heading out that way to take some time to remember, and to also pray for those I know who have gone through this. I kind of really want to see it all lit up in those colours. 

I also did one other thing to help me always remember my little ones, as I refuse to ever forget. As part of our healing process we named our little ones as we do believe we will see our little ones some day when we get to heaven. I had a little pendant made for me by Moo and the Bear. In the middle of the heart it has the initials of the names we chose, and around the outside it says “always in my heart”. Simple, but just what I needed. I know there are other’s who have talked about wanting to get something like this made so I wanted to share what I had done.

Today I will remember…

This month….
We remember
All the babies born sleeping,
Those we’ve carried but never met,
Those we’ve held but couldn’t bring home,
The ones that came home but couldn’t stay.

Help break the silence. Always remember your little one.