Let’s be honest, pregnancy isn’t always full of unicorns, and magical pixy dust. I think it’s safe to say any woman who has ever been pregnant knows this to be true. In all honesty I am struggling right now for pregnancy reasons and otherwise.
With our first born we had a name for her as soon as we found out we were having a girl, and saw her sweet little face on the ultrasound display. We had two girls, and two boys names we were going back and forth with. Once we saw her on the screen we knew which name belonged to her. This time though, nothing. We had a name we thought we wanted to use, my husband and I both really liked it plus it stuck with our idea of using all E names. Over the course of this pregnancy the name has become incredibly popular and it just does not feel right. So we moved on from it, and all E names. E names have become incredibly popular and we do not want our child to be one of two to four kids with the same name come kindergarten. We love the idea of having a unique first name, but that is easy to spell. We’re sure something will come, it just seems we will be waiting til baby girl is here and we see her face in person for the first time. I’m becoming okay with the fact that it may take a bit for her to have a name. I just feel a bit guilty that we did not have a name right away like last time. I’ve shed a few tears over this.
While I have not gained the same amount of weight as last time, it is something that worries me. I know that I easily obsess over the number on the scale so I’ve ignored the one in our house this whole pregnancy, and I have tried to ignore the numbers as best I can when at the doctors office. It doesn’t help that every appointment they check you. I know my body will do whatever it needs to during pregnancy. There is still my subconscious getting to me about it all. I’ve unfortunately also had a few comments from people around me that have really hurt. Instead of saying anything I’ve walked away, which I regret doing. I wish I’d spoken up because really it was not their place and the comments were completely inappropriate. It’s hard enough being pregnant, but having to deal with rudeness, and back handed comments on how you look is not needed at all. I have set goals for myself, that I will work towards after this little girl arrives. I am probably going to get my husband to hide the scale so I do not obsess over those numbers. If anything, I plan to focus on inches lost instead.
I try to not complain while pregnant, but I think I’ve reached my breaking point recently. I’ve actually had a few people tell me I’m not allowed to complain because I have it “easy” compared to others… apparently. So I tend to keep quiet about things. Can I please be open and honest? I’m hurting. This morning I woke up in a lot of pain. Thankfully my husband was able to get up with our daughter since he can work from home, and take care of her, while I went and had a shower to try and get the pain to stop. During my pregnancy with our first daughter my pelvic bone separated too much, and poor Evie was squashed in there. For awhile now the same pain has been happening. There’s not much I can do. Tummy bands don’t help too much at this point. Sometimes wearing compression shorts does make a different. The worst is when the bones crack, and leave me unable to move for a bit. This happens often at night when I am trying to roll over and “get more comfortable”. If I ever am pregnant again in the future, I think I may invest in renting a hospital bed, or something that goes up and down, and I can adjust… maybe even a lazy boy chair would work better.
I’ve been an emotional mess lately. Going all over the map. Seeing this side of me makes me very concerned for after delivery and the months that I follow. I dealt with postpartum depression before. I fear it’s already coming to the surface now. I dealt with some anxiety and depression at the beginning of this pregnancy, mostly from my worries connected to the possibility of another miscarriage. Maybe it is just pregnancy hormones, but it is something I am keeping a close watch on. I know in the days after delivery I will get a phone call, and be asked a bunch of questions to check how I am doing, and how baby is doing. I really think these questions should be asked in person because you can tell so much more by looking at a persons face, and into their eyes for how they are truly doing. Where as over the phone, its so easy to give the “right” answers. For now, I make sure my doctor knows how I am feeling, and we’ll take it from there.
My biggest struggle right now is that I am very worried about the transition to two kids and how our oldest will do. She is already all about her baby sister, but I am sure some acting out will happen. I know she already suspects change is coming. I just hope we can do our best as a family to make it an easy transition. As much one on one time as possible with both her Dad and I. I know my husband is planning to take her out to the playground and for “coffee” or sushi together. I just hope that I will still be able to do some things just her and I. We’ll figure it out I’m sure, it’s just going to be a big learning curve.
You are absolutely allowed to complain! I was told the same thing, I had a relatively easy pregnancy (even though I gained 50lbs!) and on days when my back and hips hurt so bad I wanted to cry, I still kept it to myself.
Can’t wait to see your little one! <3
Complain! Don’t let anybody try to steal your emotions.
You got this, Tamara! You have a great support network around you, and you are going to do awesome in these next week’s and months. 🙂
Hang in there, Mama! There is nothing easy about pregnancy! I have three and while I am an awful pregnant person, I would do it again in a heart beat! Dont stress about Evie becoming a big sister. She will do great. Let her help as much as she can (running to get diapers), helping with the paci, etc and she will love the responsibility and being included!! Good luck! xo, Lauren
Have you looked into placental encapsulation? My local midwife has great success with clients who have had previous PPD when they use the pills. They report a lessening of PPD symptoms, better milk supply anx less bleeding. Something to think about.
I’ll be praying you get some relief from the pelvic pain and that your little one arrives soon. You are sooo close Tamara! You can do it!
I love your honesty.Pregnancy is tough for sure. Hang in there! (and you look awesome!!)
Great article and great blog! Found you on FB GYB group. Let me know if you’d like to collaborate on anything in the future to grow together. My site is http://www.4hourbodygirl.com.
All the best,
Heather
I second placenta encapsulation! I have noticed a million percent (is that possible?) improvement in my mental health postpartum compared to my first pregnancy. It isn’t for everyone but I am a believer! Praying for you Tamara ❤️
You are allowed to feel however you want to feel, I complained alot with Zoe. I wish we would have spent more time before Zoe came preparing Ava for all the ways that life will change. After 5 years of being the only one, it was a hard change for her, Also trying to make sure that you still have mommy daughter dates was helpful too! Best of luck mama! I know you got this1
Pregnancy can be rough, I remember…but also what a joy! And you look beautiful!
http://www.HometownQueenBee.blogspot.com
Ouch! A separated pelvis can be excruciating. Sounds like you need to take some time to care for yourself.
I once read that pregnancy is like climbing a mountain; physically and emotionally exhausting. Don’t listen to those who say you are “not allowed to complain because (you) have it “easy” compared to others”. You have the right to your feelings.
Wishing you all the best through this new stage in life.
Pregnancy is just plain rough. No matter what you’ve been through or how “easy” your pregnancy is, I’m sorry, but it’s hard work creating another human being. I have anxiety normally, so when pregnant it got pretty out of control. It sounds like you have a supportive husband and doctor, so just lean on them whenever you can. Ps. We didn’t have names for our twins for a couple weeks after they were born.
I was going to suggest placenta encapsulation this time around I’m definitely going that route with 2 babies already and 2 cases of ppd. There are many local mommas who do it and also are doulas/midwives.
I think walking away is be best thing for people who are being mean or nasty about weight. I don’t think they even weigh patients at pomegranate because it causes stress which is more harmful than pounds!!! Really hope you can have some R&R before baby comes praying for you.
❤️
I’m at almost 26 weeks with baby #2 and still undecided on a name! Also I know – it’s not easy at all being pregnant! Be easy on yourself though! For me it comes in waves – Saturday night I was saying I never wanted to be pregnant again when I had heartburn, my back was killing me, and I was throwing up everything I ate for dinner. Today I feel great though… And I think the weight worry is totally normal but everyone is different and just focus on growing a healthy baby – worry about weight after the baby is here!
I am not sure what it is about being pregnant that people think they have the right to say something to you about your appearance? The same rule applies to everyday life! You do not comment on peoples appearance unless you want to tell them how beautiful they look. I am a big women in general and with my last pregnancy I gained only 10 lbs but received lots of comments on my weight (even from my own mother)!