Mother’s Day has come and gone. I’ve been thinking a lot about my two girls. They are the reason I have the title of Mama… and several other names they call me. Recently, the topic of being a mom of girls and struggling with body image has been going through my mind constantly. It’s something that is a huge challenge to me. How do I be a positive example to my girls? It seems to be something that many of my fellow mom’s of girls are also thinking about. So many of us have been sharing our concern about struggling with body image but wanting to be a positive example to our kids.
I’ve been thinking of sharing about this for some time as it’s a subject that’s plagued me for a long time. I’ve written, deleted and rewrote this so many times. It’s a hard subject, this will definitely not be an eloquent post by any means. It will, however, be some of the thoughts that have been running through my mind.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY: SHANNON LEE facebook | instagram
I know what I want and hope for. That my daughters will be strong and confident, but how do I help facilitate that when I struggle so much myself? How can I help my girls to be resilient to the fact that the world around us places their worth on things like how they look and their dress size? I fear their teenage years. If it’s anything like mine, it’s going to be very trying. Sadly, at such a young age my kindergartener has already asked questions about her appearance. I can see how easy it is for society to grasp on to a girl and control how she thinks about herself. I want my girls to speak positively about themselves and those around them.
It starts with me. I need to be the example.
“Girls don’t just simply decide to hate their bodies, we teach them to.” – unknown
I am their role model. I need to be the best example that they have in regards to all of this. Even though there are days I do not love the way I look and who I am. I need to show a healthy view of body image and be gentle and kind towards myself.
I don’t want my girls to hear me speak negatively about appearance ever. The rule about not having anything nice to say and not saying anything at all is going to come into play. Why even say it if it’s not going to be encouraging and lift someone up? I want my girls to always hear positivity coming from my mouth. I hope that they will do the same for themselves and for others.
I want them to appreciate physical activity. I am working my way back into going to jogs. It’s been a long time, but it was something I once really liked to do. I’m getting back into it. While it may not be something that takes up all my time, taking care of my body is important. It helps that my girls love being active so I know they will be there right by my side. I’ve got to be able to keep up with them! Being active also has a major impact on my overall mood. It impacts my health in so many ways.
Working on my overall health and wellness also means being a better example when it comes to food. It’s time to start preparing and enjoying food together. Making a meal together provides such a great opportunity to talk about food choices and how they provide things our bodies need. Don’t get me wrong, we will still enjoy some gelato together without any guilt.
Something I recently started doing is dressing for who I am right now. I used to have a box in the closet that contained clothing that no longer fit but that I hoped to wear again. I just donated all the contents of it recently. It was time to not focus on the past and start loving who I am right now. Two kids later and my body has changed. It was time to find things I love that work for my body now. Pieces that make me happy when I wear them and not worry about anything else! Often my oldest daughter is the first to notice that I’m smiling when wearing something I love and is always the first to say “Wow Mama, you look so pretty!”.
While I may not want their focus to be on being pretty. I do make sure they hear “You are beautiful” and so much more from me. They also hear about how incredible they are. How smart they are. How funny and kind they are. Plus so many other things. Kids need to hear this and so much more. It’s amazing how much this can fill their buckets and boost their confidence in so many areas.
I know it’s very likely that a day will come when my girls may express some body issue concerns, that they may struggle. I hope and pray that they know they can come and talk to me. That I will be there for them. I will sit and listen to their concerns and gently guide them through it because goodness gracious growing up is hard.
I am going to be doing my best to be a positive example for my girls. There are so many areas that influence this, but it needs to start somewhere and for us that somewhere is me.
Addie’s Top | Pants | Headband
Jason’s Top
Tamara’s Top
I have girls myself – 3 of them. My husband and I teach them how important it is to be confident in themselves. We also teach them to not let what other people think control their lives. We always remind them how beautiful and smart they are.
That quote! This post was truly needed for me to read, as I want to foster a loving heart and mind for my daughter and all girls in the world to love their body! Thank you for sharing and I also ADOREEEE all of these photos! So Sweet!
I have 1 girl and I struggle with this. I will say that I was skinny when I was younger, then college, marriage, and pregnancy hit me. Me and my husband are now on our way to back to being healthy and letting our girl be apart of every minute. I always let her know that she is pretty no matter what. You are doing a great job mama! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing, it is so important what you teach your children, I will definitely keep your post in mind. And that last photo of you is beautiful!
First I have to say that your family is beautiful! I have a daughter as well and since I’ve spent most of my life struggling with body issues, I’m raising my daughter to love who she is as a person and care about that more than how she looks. Great post!
I am a mama of 2 boys instead of girls but I think that stuff like this is just as important for boys as it is girls. I have really been working on my language and making sure that my husband and I speak positively about all of their great attributes, instead of just their looks. I don’t want them to grow up like I did, getting so many compliments on my looks all the time that I felt like I was nothing without them. Great post.
Oh amen, mama. I try every day to instill good body image in my daughter- I feel it’s one of the most important things I can do. Your photos are gorgeous!!
I have 5 girls so teaching them positive body image is a priority for me.
I love that your baby notices when you feel good about what you’re wearing and how you look. That’s it, right there. They model what we do. How we speak about ourselves and how we treat ourselves is what they will model. 🙂
I LOVE all of these pictures. You have a beautiful family.