Last night I went shopping with Jason and Everly. I was hopping to find a black skirt and a nice top or maybe a dress for the fall/winter and that I could wear for the holiday season. I was wanting to find something that fit me nicely right now as currently I do not have many options for “nice” clothing.
Whenever I’ve gone shopping recently I’ve always looked, I might have even found something I really liked but I always put it back.
sigh
The life of a mother facing “mom guilt”. I would always think of where else that money could and should go, even if I found the item in clearance I wouldn’t spend the money on myself, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t buy the cute shirt that was marked down, as that was a couple dollars that could go towards the next can of formula needed or jug of milk.
I honestly feel like there is never a good time to buy anything for myself. What the needs of my family are will always start whirling around in my brain. Even with a gift card, or money given to me for my recent birthday, it doesn’t matter – I will always hesitate to buy something for myself.
We had set out to go shopping specifically to find something for me. I did in fact find a beautiful top and skirt, my husband loved the way they looked on me, and I got many compliments from the staff at the store and even another shopper. I started crying before we even went up to pay for my items. I turned to Jason with tears in my eyes I just don’t think I can bring myself to spend this much on me. My dear hubby was very quick to help me calm down and smile, encouraging me and reminding me that I do in fact need to spend something on myself for once. I got my skirt and my top, and I even got a discount with it being my birthday month.
This morning I am still feeling guilty of my purchase. I texted my Mom to ask her what she thought. She has long been a voice of reason for me. She reminded me of the upcoming holiday season, and that there are several events I will be able to wear them to. I was reminded that I do need to get myself new clothing sometimes, and that being able to do so with a discount was an added bonus. As new wives and moms we fall into a place of only taking care of others, while we fall to the wayside. I was reminded that we need to take care of ourselves too so that we also feel good. This helps us to be our best for others.
I’m sure my mom guilt will be around for awhile. I am trying to get better about taking time for myself, by doing crafts, reading, or whatever, and I am also trying to get better about not feeling guilty if I do purchase something for myself.
Do you have a hard time shopping for yourself?
Do you get plagued by “mom guilt”?
I feel the same way! I am awful at spending money, and it is a very rare month when I go shopping for something for myself. These things combined make it uncomfortable for me when I do need a new pair of pants or a shirt.
Do you have a monthly budget? If you can budget for a certain amount of money you can spend on yourself every month (even if it’s just $20), and know that you have already budgeted for formula and groceries and other necessities, maybe you won’t feel so bad spending it. And having it be a regular monthly thing, you can get into the habit of it and look forward to it!
(I was the same way before I had kids too. Not a “mommy thing” for me.)
Does it become stronger after becoming a Mom I wonder?
I definitely need to make more of a point of having that set into the budget, then yes, maybe just maybe the guilt will subside a bit.