IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND, YOU WOULD BE IN TEARS
My anxiety was intensified after having kids. It was bad with my first daughter and incredibly worse after the birth of my second daughter. It consumed me. I had no idea how to explain to others how I felt and what was going on. Just recently have I decided that my anxiety isn’t going to stop me anymore.
I’m at the least going to try my hardest to not let it stop me.
When both of my girls were newborns I dreaded having to go anywhere on my own with them. I had a constant sense of worry and would be uneasy for days leading up to things like having to take my baby to a check-up at the doctor. It was crippling, to the point where I would just stay at home instead.
Often if I had to go out somewhere I would ask my husband to come with me. My anxiety revolves around my kids it seems. If my husband couldn’t I would ask someone else to please come and help. I did not want to have to get in the car on my own with my kids. I would become inundated with worry with negative thoughts and doubts plaguing me.
There were always “What if…?” questions running through my mind. That has always been the starting point and the biggest problem in connection to my extreme unease. I’ve been slowly working on this, on getting to a place where I would no longer feel distressed about going out somewhere with my daughters.
It’s taken a long time. I started with simple things like just loading both of them into the car and going to grab a coffee. Doing this during the phase of both my girls refusing to nap in their beds was a huge help. They’d often crash in the car and have at least a little power nap.
Yesterday, I randomly decided to go to the beach with my girls. I messaged my husband while I was on my break at work and asked him to have them ready to go for when I got home. In a bit of a whirlwind, we got the diaper bag packed and the two girls into their car seats in the car.
For the first time, I wasn’t flooded with anxiety. It was a joy-filled car ride and outing.
I’m sharing just a little glimpse of what I’ve been going through. The bible verse below was shared with me a long time ago and it’s been a needed constant reminder.
Cast ALL your anxiety on HIM because HE cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
Beautifully written. You are so beautiful inside and out mama!
Whoohoo! and you have these beautiful photos to remember and you did all three of you good by getting out into nature. Love lots.
You are going a great job!! love the beach pics…its not easy taking littles out.
Thanks for sharing this story!
Thank you for sharing your journey with anxiety. It can be difficult to talk about, but so many of us deal with it and we should feel safe to share our struggles. I love the verse you shared. My “anxiety verse” is Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” <3
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been there. Heck, I’m STILL there. But I’m not letting it stop me either. And I speak up about my postpartum anxiety a lot so that I can break the stigma!
Beautiful post. It is definitely a struggle many go through, please know you are not alone. These photos of you and your girls are so preschools.
That Bible verse has gotten me thru rough times, too! Thank you for sharing. I think we all have tons of struggles, and somehow it helps to realize we’re not alone. Love you! Keep up those baby steps!
Mega steps in the right directions!
How brave of you mama! I’m so glad you conquered your fear and bit the bullet and took them out. Since having a miscarriage, I sometimes deal with anxiety. I somewhat understood it as a school counselor, but dealing with it personally has changed the way I look at it. Prayers for you in your journey.
This is literally me. Can relate to this so much. I also have two girls. After my second was born, I was overcome by anxiety. I could not get myself to get in the car and take them anywhere. I always had a reason or an excuse why. I knew I felt different but didn’t really know why. It didn’t match the PPD symptoms the doctor glossed over. Thank you for sharing this.
I love that you shared this story! I can relate so much to this. I suffer horribly with anxiety, which became so debilitating at times I didn’t want to leave through house and couldn’t watch the news! It’s brave to share this post but know that you’re not alone in this journey. There are many of us right there with you, cheering you on!
Ellie
http://Www.scotchandstilettos.com
This is defintely something I struggle with. Every since having my baby – trying to be better!
I’ve been there too at times and it can make even the most simple outings difficult and overwhelming. I’m glad that you are finding that it’s getting easier over time and that you have good support from your husband. You’re doing great mama!
I also suffer from anxiety and can imagine it is only heightened once kids come into the picture. SO happy you found solace in a serene location!
Thanks for sharing, I can definitely relate!