A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
It’s been a year since I admitted to myself that I was battling postpartum depression again. It’s been that long since I started medication to aid me in dealing with the beast that is PPD. I am finally at the point where I can say there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I thought it was about time I give a little update. So many have surrounded me this past year and been a constant source of support, encouragement, and guidance. With the events that occurred in Vancouver with a mother who was going through PPD ending in her taking her life, a dialogue seems to have finally started about PPD that is open, and honest about. It’s about freaking time!
To be honest, I almost didn’t want to write this out. For fear that I might jinx how I was feeling. That how I was feeling would end up reverting back to the dark pit I was in. I am sharing though because I am just now getting to the end of my struggle. It’s been a long road, but I am there. I feel like myself again.
I actually recognise myself again! Gone is the monster I thought myself to be. Gone are the dark days filled with despair. I’m no longer in a fight with the blanket on my bed that feels like it holds the weight of the world within it. Making it challenging just to get out from the blanket each morning. I wake up each day and actually want to get out of bed!
It’s been a couple months since I started weaning off the medication I was prescribed to in handling my PPD. I have been completely off of it for a month. It was a process to wean off and I could definitely tell the changes. Slowly I started to feel as I did before the postpartum depression kicked in.
I was smiling more. Wanting to play more with my kids. I wanted to spend my time with my little family. They were back to being my focus. I no longer felt like I was drowning, or just trying to stay afloat each day. I was thriving again.
It’s been a long year, filled with the deepest valleys and the highest mountains I have ever seen in my life. This was round two for me in dealing with postpartum depression, I knew what to look for and took action quickly. I truly hope that more will be open and honest about going through this. You are never alone!
If you suspect that you are going through baby blues, postpartum depression or even antenatal depression (depression during pregnancy), and anxiety, please go talk to a medical professional. Don’t be afraid to start that open dialogue. Do it for your family, do it for you!
This makes me so happy for you, thanks for sharing your progress!
Tamara, I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better and I know that by you sharing you have blessed many others.
First off, congratulations on starting to feel like yourself again! That’s such a huge accomplishment in itself. Second, thanks for putting yourself out there and talking to us about your progress. This is so great- especially for the other moms reading to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel! There is hope!
This is a great post. I haven’t struggled with this but have many friends who have. We shouldn’t feel ashamed of needing some medical help to get us to where we need to be for our kids and family.
Thanks for sharing!! Love love this
This is so good to read! I am so happy for you!! I have been battling some anxiety myself after my second daughter was born, but like you, I am finally starting to feel like myself again!
I’m sending you so many virtual hugs right now. Yay!! So happy for you. I’m an anxiety sufferer (but not a mom yet) and I would be lying if I wasn’t worried about how my mental health will be if and when I get pregnant… reading stories like yours are inspiring to me and I’m sure to others who are suffering, which is a weird thing to say considering the topic, but I hope you understand what I mean 🙂
Amazing story, so very happy for you! So glad to hear you have been able to wean yourself off the meds you we’re on..can be very challenging I’m sure! Hugs go out to you!☺👍
Thanks for sharing your story!
Just found your blog but Thanks for sharing. I never recognized myself as having PPD but basically I had so much trouble bonding with my first born that it was hard to want to do anyrhing. I now know and luckily never experienced it with my second. Glad your gloomy year is over! Take care.