We definitely live in a time filled with lots of criticism and judgement, and recently the remarks that come from it seem to be directed at women who are pregnant, or women after pregnancy.
First there was the remarks towards a local meteorologist who ended up calling out all of the bullies who were sending in hurtful and rude remarks, and letters to her about how she was dressing while pregnant. Then the hosts of a local radio station make known how they feel about women and their post pregnancy bodies and when the baby weight needs to be gone. What’s next, a local councillor says that women look like sausage casings. Sadly before all of this were the comments directed to Kate Middleton after the birth of her son. Anyone else notice the strategically placed baby blanket, and the looser fitting dress after the birth of her daughter? It broke my heart to see this, to see, and read all of these things. What has happened to everyone’s manners? I was always told the classic saying of “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” add in my Mom’s death glare and I knew I was in for it if I ever said anything unkind.
With being plus size and pregnant I’ve had my share of judgement, and comments. I have dealt with it for a long time. Like anyone my confidence comes and goes. My pregnancy with Evie I had great difficulty finding maternity clothing that worked for me. Being plus size, and tall meant that I was facing a major challenge in finding clothing that would fit me. If it was big enough it wasn’t long enough, and if it was long enough it wasn’t big enough. I ended up wearing the same jeans I had before my whole pregnancy but with two hair elastics holding them closed near the end of my pregnancy. I never found jeans that fit me. I am still struggling with that issue this time. Shirts are a bit easier but often if it’s long on the average size person, it’s short on me. Same goes for dresses, if it comes to the knees of the average size person, for whatever reason it is a crop top on me.
I see others who fit smaller clothing sizes than me and I’ll be honest I am totally envious. I have a few friends who are expecting right now, and I see their cute little outfits and I just dream of getting to be able to wear fun things like they do. The one thing I do know, is that many of us women struggle with the adjustment of our changing bodies during pregnancy and after. We all have a period of frustration, of feeling just large or frumpy. We are trying to figure out what works, it’s all trial and error over 9 months of an ever changing body while pregnant, and however long after the baby arrives.
So to all of you ladies who are pregnant, or have had your little one recently, or even a year or so ago. Keep smiling. Can we please do our part to try and stop the judgement that is going on, and support one another instead? We should be building each other up, and reminding each other how beautiful we are. Our bodies change so that they can provide a home for a baby for 9 months or so. It may take 9 or more months after the baby is born to start seeing it go back to how you want it to be. If you want to wear a more form fitting shirt or dress while pregnant, go for it! If you want to rock sweatpants and a tshirt, go for it! As for me I continue my hunt for jeans that fit, for now the hair elastic is working. Be confident in who you are.
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Well said Tamara and I think you look great everyday. Keep smiling.
I think people have always had comments to say it’s just so much easier to do them with the veil of social media and anonymous emails/comments.
This pregnancy I was at my heaviest. I knew that. The office assistant in my OB’s office always made a comment every time I stepped on the scale. I decided to say ‘thanks!” with a big smile on my face and it really threw her off. Truthfully, this third time around, I just decided not to care about what other people thought about how my body looked while growing this precious baby.
My maternity clothes from baby #1 didn’t fit me at all. The clothes from #2 worked until about 20 weeks and then my thighs and hips said NO.
I wore my first pair of leggings as pants and didn’t take them off till…well, who am I kidding, I’m still wearing them week 3 post partum!
The best thing we can do for our growing babies is to be happy and positive. So if we can take off one layer of stress from any negative feelings about our bodies, not only will our growing babies reap the benefits (less stress!) we will also enjoy our pregnancy more.
Keep on growing Tamara!!
So well said! I feel your pain acutely being tall and plus size as well. Length on everything is an issue!! Oddly enough, both of my pregnancies were times when I was at my smallest, because I was so sick. It was almost a cruel joke that each time I was bigger months and years afterwards then I was during! Luckily, I have been lucky to be surrounded by kind and thoughtful people and have been spared the cruel comments. Keep your chin up, you are stunning and an amazing example to your littles!
Well I happen to always think you look so well put together and quite lovely! But it is truly sad how critical it is out there, esp. appearance wise as a woman. Be encouraged that you are supporting a generation of woman who are placing value in building one another up and leading by example.