Life has been challenging for us since the Summer with Jason’s diagnosis with a tumor and cancer it impacted all of us. It especially impacted our daughters. While they are young and were only 1 and 4 when the journey started they knew something was going on. We had to find ways to help our children understand what was going on and understand cancer.
WAYS TO HELP CHILDREN UNDERSTAND CANCER
TALK WITH THEM
A huge thing for both of our girls has been talking to them as we go through this. If they had questions, we took the time to answer them. Kids are so observant they knew something was going on before we sat down and talked to them about it. We needed to have the opportunity for open and honest conversations. Sometimes it didn’t even need to be about cancer, the girls just need the chance to talk and be heard about whatever it was that was in their heart and mind.
READ BOOKS WITH THEM
We bought two books and friends of ours gave us another great book, that’s actually a workbook. The books we have are The Goodbye Cancer Garden, Cancer Hates Kisses, and Because… Someone I Love Has Cancer: Kid’s Activity Book. We had a very hard time finding a book about cancer that was connected to a Dad having cancer. These books though made a huge difference in helping to simplify what was going on and make it something a young child can understand. Plus, it tied in a lot of what we were experiencing as a family. The girls could see that other people have needed to go to the hospital to fight cancer or showed them ways they could help their Dad to feel better. I warn you though, the two-story books made me tear up and at times when we were in the midst of things were hard to read, but also therapeutic.
BRING THEM TO APPOINTMENTS + CHEMO
Both of our girls came with us to appointments. Jason often called them his good luck charms because he heard good news on days when they came along. The girls got to see where Daddy was going to get treatment, though they couldn’t stay because of their age and you can only have one visitor. They also got to meet the doctors and nurses involved in helping care for them. Going to the hospital is something we did not want them to be fearful of, instead, it became a place where they put a smile on their Dad’s face and other patients too. This is a journey that everyone is impacted by, we were in this together.
LET THEM GET THEIR EMOTIONS OUT
Cancer is confusing for young children. It’s a very hard concept to grasp, often we just needed to keep things simple. That Daddy was sick. This still brought out a lot of emotions. We saw a lot of behaviours come out and who can blame them, it gets overwhelming. They needed an opportunity to release all those feelings. Sometimes a snuggle was needed, or to be able to yell or let tears flow. It’s incredible how someone so little can have such big emotions, and did they every burst out. Often, we need the chance to just have a good cry, the same goes for kids. When we heard a small knock on our door in the middle of the night, we knew that they needed us. Our oldest battled nightmares connected to her Dad being in the hospital for a long time. This was the longest the girls had their Dad be away from them. Our kingsize bed ended up being taken over a couple times. Whatever was needed to help get them through this, even if it meant stuffies that normally stayed in bed got to go in the car instead.
FAMILY TIME
We tried to keep as much normality to our lives as a family as we could. This meant family time became even more important to use. We kept traditions like family movie nights on Friday evenings, as well as tried to get out to do things as a family. Sometimes this backfired on us like 3 out of 4 people in our family catching the norovirus. We needed to get out and about as a family. Sometimes all Jason could handle was a little 20-minute outing to a local park, but this made all the difference for everyone. Getting to go do something we love as a family.
The past 7 months have been very challenging for our whole family. It’s hard on the person with cancer. It’s hard on the members of their family. It’s especially hard on young children as they try to understand what is going on. A lot of the time we kept things very simple for the girls. Daddy is sick, the doctors are trying to help him get better. This was exactly what our girls needed. There’s a whole dynamic shift when you go through cancer and you see what your children need to help them through the journey too.
Warrior Tee – Little Bean + Co
