We’ve been dealing with cancer being in our family’s life since September. From my husband being diagnosed with a tumor to having surgery, and to chemotherapy currently. It’s been stressful, worrisome, and so much more. This journey has impacted all of us in the family, through it we’ve been learning the true meaning of how it takes a village. We are so thankful for those who have and continue to surround us and support us through this journey with cancer.
There have been several different ways that we have been supported through this and we wanted to share because we will not be the last to go through this.
1. Financially aid.
When we first started our fight against cancer Jason was able to still take care of the girls, so I did not take time off from work. Things changed though once chemotherapy was needed. Jason has now been off work for over 3 months with a little bit of pay. I’ve now been off work, on a leave of absence, for 5 weeks without pay. I would have gone off work sooner but we were concerned about how we were going to make ends meet. I had to take the time off because Jason could no longer care for the girls at home on his own while I was at work during the day. I need to be available to care for him and for the girls.
There are several different ways one can support families financially through a time like this. A way that is often used, is by setting up a GoFundMe account. A friend of ours set one up at the same time I was submitting my LOA to work, she knew the financial strain we were facing. If you are able to give financially, it can make a huge difference to relieve some of the stress that comes with not working and the needs of the family.
2. Care packages.
We have been blessed with several different care packages that have been lovingly put together by friends and family. One was put together to even include items for our kids to help them through this time. It contained a book called “Because… Someone I Love Has Cancer” and it has been a huge help with providing some understanding for our kids as we go through this. Even something like sending flowers can brighten up everyone’s day.
3. Providing Child Care.
This is something that I am actually horrible at asking for. I don’t like to have to ask for child care and thankfully some are understanding of this and have realized they need to simply say “we are taking the girls on this day and at this time”. Providing child care has given me the opportunity to be able to go to chemotherapy appointments or to visit on my own while at the hospital and not have to worry about the kids running wild. It’s also provided some needed relief during the most stressful moments.
4. Food for the family.
There is something to be said about the comfort of food. Providing meals means there is one less thing for the family to worry about. It’s been a huge help to me to not have to worry about what I need to make for meals every now and then. Being provided meals has meant so much to us. From ready-made pancakes to little treats of cookies or full meals ready to go at dinner time. Food has been a huge help to us as a family.
5. Gift cards for food, gas, coffee and more.
We are so thankful for the gift cards that have been provided to us. There’s something to be said about the convenience of coffee after a night of no sleep because it’s been filled with nightmares of the worst case scenario. I have also been able to order needed groceries online and pick them up after visiting Jason while he is in the hospital. Gift cards have added some ease to our days. We were fearful of the cost of parking at the hospital for chemotherapy appointments, specialists and so much more. While we were provided a discount due to all of that by the hospital, we were very thankful for the offer to help cover the cost of parking by a friend because finances were already very tight for us.
6. Essential oils.
I have used essential oils for years but it was more so for helping with my migraines and headaches and a few other little things. Going through this journey with cancer the world of essential oils has become even more important to me. When fighting cancer your immune system becomes compromised and you want to be able to do everything you can to help support the body. We have been working on starting to cut out toxins in our home thanks to the support of friends who know their essential oils. I am not partial to a certain company but I do stick to certain ones. A friend of mine got me going on using essential oils for cleaning in the home, personal care, and so much more. Friends of mine also made sure I had oils to help with feeling calm, damage to veins due to the chemotherapy, and much more. Using essential oils has made a big difference for our whole family.
7. Cleaning service.
This brought me to tears the day we received a card at our home from friends. With their words of encouragement and support was the gift of having a cleaning service come to our home and help with cleaning. It provided one less thing for me to worry about through all of this. Plus, I’ll be honest, things had been let go of as I struggled to keep up with day to day life.
8. Offer to drive.
We are a one car family. Add in the fact that Jason was exhausted from treatment and was unable to drive, there were days when we needed help from others to drive him to and from the hospital while I was either at work or taking the kids to their daily activities. Figuring out the schedule to make having one car work was very frustrating, it made a huge difference knowing we could contact others and have them help us with all the driving that needed to be done.
9. Reach out, contact them.
We are so thankful for everyone who has and continues to reach out to us. Sending emails or text messages to check in and see how we are doing and asking how they can help us through this. We have also had people create posters and print pictures for Jason to hang on the wall in the hospital and bring him daily support. This has really helped us in knowing that we are not alone in this journey. We have a whole village surrounding us and supporting us through it. Also know that while we may not reply always, that we have received the messages and are thankful for them.
Going through cancer is a life-changing experience. It’s impacted us as a whole family, but we would not be getting through this every day without everyone in our lives and everything that has been done to help us. We cannot say thank you enough.
Tamara
We think of you often and our wishes for you, Jason and the girls, is to have Jason home and well again soon. We appreciate you sharing your journey not only to keep us up to date but also to help others who may be on a similar journey. We send you positive thoughts and hopes that you will soon have happier days.
This was such a great blog to write. I’m glad I came across it. It’s so important to know how others can help without feeling like we are over stepping. Praying for your husband and all of you.
I am so sorry your sweet family is going through this difficult trial. We realize the importance of friends and family when facing trying times. I have a couple bottles of new essential oils that I am not using if you would like them and can use them. They are Young Living brand, and I am a distributor. Please let me know. Psalm 34:22
I’m sorry what your husband and your family is going through! Your husband and family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I’m so sorry your family is going through this awful time. I can’t imagine and am praying for you and your husband. This is a great post to help others understand how to help their friends, family, and neighborhood going through similar situations.
Praying for you and your family 💕
SUCH GREAT ADVICE. I WILL BE SHARING THIS. WE HAD A LOT OF HELP WHEN MY MOM WAS SICK WITH CANCER, BUT WE COULD HAVE USED A LIST LIKE THIS TO GIVE TO FOLKS WHEN THEY ASKED WHAT TO DO.